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apocryph.orgnotes to my future self |
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apocryph.orgnotes to my future self |
Most days during the spring and summer months I ride my bike to and from work each day, instead of driving my car. According to this calculator, assuming a savings of 1000 miles per year, that’s 0.305 tons of carbon I’m not spewing into the atmosphere. Sure, I can pay $15 and buy a plenary indulgence—I mean—carbon offset to counter that much carbon emission, but where’s the fun in that? By making the sacrifice myself instead of outsourcing it like some filthy capitalist pig, I can now don the hair shirt of environmental responsibility, with all the smug condescension and pompous bullshit to which I am now entitled.
In the spirit of pompous bullshit, for a limited time you can ease your troubled climatic conscience by paying me to NOT fuck up the Earth. It’s easy.
Look at the photo below and note which detail you notice first:
The correct answer for normal hetero males is “girl”. If you have an unhealthy fixation with firearms, you said “gun”. If you said “cat”, well, I don’t blame you, but you really need to re-evaluate your priorities. If your first thought was “that rug really ties the whole room together”, we have nothing in common.
It’s usually safe to assume that whatever today’s xkcd cartoon is, it rocks. Today’s is especially good, and reflects the kind of math I and many of my kind might not always admit to doing:
Brilliant.
Turns out I’m one of that rarest of breeds, a Smart American:
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Lately I’ve been lurking in the major online gun forums, like TFL, THR, arfcom, etc. As with any activity involving more than one person, there’s a diverse mix of nut-jobs, fuckwits, curmudgeons, trolls, assholes, and the odd decent human being now and again.
A recurring meme on these forums is the hypothetical tactical scenario, which follows this pattern:
If you don’t know what a mall ninja is, Google it.
If you do, and you know me, the fact that I scored 43% should be amusing.
Lately I’ve been lurking in a few gun boards, including OpenCarry.org, The High Road, AR15.com, and SigForum. Most of this lurking was research for my latest gun purchase, but I easily digress onto unrelated threads for hours on end.
On Valentine’s Day the Wall Street Journal reprinted a hilarious parody of the Restatement of Torts, Second, titled Restatement of Love. Though IANAL, I am familiar w/ Restatement from my studies, and I appreciate sarcastic, technical humor. Read it and see for yourself; if you find it amusing, there’s probably something wrong w/ you too.
