WTF Is Wrong w/ Scott Adams!?
As a geek I am required to enjoy the Dilbert cartoon strip by Scott Adams. Perhaps due to attribution error, I project Dilbert’s personality onto that of Adams. As is often the case with attribution error, the correction can be jarring. So it is with this blog post, in which Adams soaks an Ahmadinejad apologia with sarcasm.
I know what you’re thinking; how can any Western citizen defend Ahmadinejad? I didn’t know the answer either until I read the post.
Here are some nuggets:
I was happy to hear that NYC didn’t allow Iranian President Ahmadinejad to place a wreath at the WTC site. And I was happy that Columbia University is rescinding the offer to let him speak. If you let a guy like that express his views, before long the entire world will want freedom of speech.
First of all, Mahmood (‘Ahmadinejad’ is too much to type) is in New York as a diplomatic representative of Iran to the UN. He’s addressing the leaders of all the world’s nations, some of whom are even worse human rights abusers than he, and many others who have enabled him. Laying a wreath at Ground Zero is perverse at best, and has no relation to the reason he was allowed into the country to begin with.
Second, Mahmood is_ still speaking at Columbia. This isn’t an issue of free speech; the Constitution prevents the government from censoring speech, not schools, corporations, or individuals. Even if Mahmood _were not speaking at Columbia, there’s no free speech infringement. As for Columbia, well, their rhetoric about diverse opinions and students sorting it out themselves sounds great, and yet one can’t help but wonder how this same rhetoric would be directed at a KKK Grand Wizard, or a Holocaust denier–oh wait, nevermind, we know how Columbia treats Holocaust deniers.
I hate Ahmadinejad for all the same reasons you do. For one thing, he said he wants to “wipe Israel off the map.” Scholars tell us the correct translation is more along the lines of wanting a change in Israel’s government toward something more democratic, with less gerrymandering. What an ass-muncher!
Ah, yes. The old ‘wipe Israel off the map’ kerfluffle. Iranian State Broadcasting translated his statement as ‘Israel must be wiped off the map’. Persian speakers claim there is no such idiom in Persian, and that a more accurate translation calls for the Zionist regime to be wiped from the pages of time.
Let’s accept this apologist rhetoric as fact for a moment. Iran is really just interested in toppling a corrupt regime and replacing it with a democratically elected government (where the voters include 5 million Palestinians retured en masse to Israel). Iran is a peaceful change agent in the region. All the support it lends to Hezbollah, Islamic Jihad, and Iraqi Shia militias is intended to clothe the naked, educate the ignorant, and feed the hungry. Rocket attacks on civilian buildings in Israel is just part of a democratic campaign for change.
Given how slick and saavy Mahmood is, I can understand him making these claims. I can’t understand an educated Westerner buying them.
Ahmadinejad also called the holocaust a “myth.” Fuck him! A myth is something a society uses to frame their understanding of their world, and act accordingly. It’s not as if the world created a whole new country because of holocaust guilt and gives it a free pass no matter what it does. That’s Iranian crazy talk. Ahmadinejad can blow me.
No, a ‘myth’ is:
a story that is usually of unknown origin and at least partially traditional, that ostensibly relates historical events usually of such character as to serve to explain some practice, belief, institution, or natural phenomenon, and that is especially associated with religious rites and beliefs — compare EUHEMERISM, FABLE, FOLKTALE
also
a story invented as a veiled explanation of a truth : PARABLE, ALLEGORY; especially : one of Plato’s philosophical allegories b : the theme or plot of a mythical tale occurring in forms differing only in detail
The Holocaust ‘myth’ is of known origin, is not at all traditional, does not relate historical events to explain something (it IS_ an historical event), and is most definitely _NOT associated with religious rites and beliefs. Finally, it is not invented as a veiled explanation of a truth; it is the reality of millions of civilians murdered in a mass genocide.
To suggest that Israel gets a free pass because of Holocaust guilt requires more delusional thinking than I can muster. Did Israel not lose the public opinion war with Hezbollah last summer? Has Israel not withdrawn from the Golan Heights, and the Gaza Strip? Is the UN not constantly acting in opposition to Israel?
Most insulting is the fact that “myth” implies the holocaust didn’t happen. Fuck him for saying that! He also says he won’t dispute the historical claims of European scientists. That is obviously the opposite of saying the holocaust didn’t happen, which I assume is his way of confusing me. God-damned fucker.
Read this interview with Mahmood in Der Spiegel and tell me he isn’t a Holocaust denier. If you can’t read this interview without seeing the fingerprints of Karl Rove and the Neocon Zionist Cabal, it’s time to emigrate to Canada.
Furthermore, why does an Iranian guy give a speech in his own language except for using the English word “myth”? Aren’t there any Iranian words for saying a set of historical facts has achieved an unhealthy level of influence on a specific set of decisions in the present? He’s just being an asshole.
Ah, of course. Mahmood doesn’t deny the Holocaust, he’s just trying to say we give the Izzys a free pass coz their ancestors were gassed by a European tyrant. And Hitler just wants peace in the region. Give him the Sudetenland and he’ll leave everyone alone.
You don’t have to be a neocon hawk to publicly denounce Mahmood as an evil tyrant. An opposition to armed conflict with Iran doesn’t require one become an apologist for the biggest thug in the region.
Ahmadinejad believes his role is to pave the way for the coming of the Twelfth Imam. That’s a primitive apocalyptic belief! I thank Jesus I do not live in a country led by a man who believes in that sort of bullshit. Imagine how dangerous that would be, especially if that man had the launch codes for nuclear weapons.
Ah yes. The old trope about men who believe in an afterlife shouldn’t control nuclear weapons. Haha. I see what you did there.
I don’t want this to turn into a comparative religion post, but briefly I would like to point out that Christianity (particularly mainline Protestant sects like those of the current and many past Presidents) believe in an afterlife in heaven for the righteous, but that does not translate into a casual disregard for corporeal life on earth. Indeed, it’s the Christian religions sects that champion the preservation of life, which is why many of them oppose abortion, capital punishment, and euthanasia.
Mahmood’s Twelfth Imam delusion is different. He has claimed that the return of the Twelfth Imam is imminent (within two years), and it seems at least implied that nuclear holocaust might bring this about. Notwithstanding Bush’s resemblance to Hitler and subjugation to the Neocon Corporate Cabal, I’d rather he control nukes than Mahmood.
The worst of the worst is that Ahmadinejad’s country is helping the Iraqis kill American soldiers. If Iran ever invades Canada, I think we’d agree the best course of action for the United States is to be constructive and let things sort themselves out. Otherwise we’d be just as evil as the Iranians. Those fuckers.
Iran’s covert meddling into Iraqi affairs, including arming Shia militia groups and sending covert Qods Force elements into Iraq is an attempt to destabilize Iraq and ensure the Shia faction is dominant. If Iran invaded Canada, we’d declare war on Iran and fight openly. Then again, Canada is a stable Western democracy, while Iraq and Iran are totalitarian theocratic regimes formerly/currently run by murderous fanatics. See if you can tell the difference.
Those Iranians need to learn from the American example. In this country, if the clear majority of the public opposes the continuation of a war, our leaders will tell us we’re terrorist-humping idiots and do whatever they damn well please. They might even increase our taxes to do it. That’s called leadership.
For better or worse, (and sometimes, believe me, it’s ‘worse’), democracies make decisions that some voters think are completely wrong. In a representative democracy, elected representatives sometimes do things that the people who elected them don’t like. The fact that Adams and friends couldn’t get enough of the public to listen to them to elect a different President doesn’t make this President an American version of Mahmood. It makes them the losers in a democratic contest. I wonder what happens to the losers of democratic contests in Mahmood’s country…
If Ahmadinejad thinks he can be our friend by honoring our heroes and opening a dialog, he underestimates our ability to misinterpret him. Fucking idiot. I hate him.
If Adams honestly believes that Mahmood Ahmedinejad has come here to honor our heroes and open a dialog, he is what an enemy of ours from an earlier time would call a ‘useful idiot’. There are evil people in the world. Mahmood is evil. He should be stopped. It’s ok to admit that even if you hate Bush and oppose the war.
Defiance of Tyranny Throughout History
Perhaps because I’m a raving jingoist, I enjoy reading about events throughout history in which the forces of good (or, at least, less bad) defied the (often superior) forces of evil, regardless of how well that defiance turned out.
Here’s a catalog of a few great moments of defiance in history:
- 480 BC, the Battle of Thermopylae, in which 300 Spartans and assorted other Greeks held the entire Persian army at bay for three days, inflicting massively disproportionate casualties before being overrun and fighting to the last man. As anyone who watched 300 or reads American gun forums knows, King Leonidas of Sparta was famously approached by Xerces the Persian king who offered to spare the lives of Leonidas and his few thousand colleagues if they would only surrender and lay down their weapons, to which Leonidas replied Molōn labe!, “come and take them”.
- 1667, The Zaporozhe Cossaks respond to Turkish Sultan Muhammed IV with derision and contemptuous disrespect
- 1775, Battle of Bunker Hill. American revolutionary forces held their positions against a superior British force, inflicting serious casualties on the British Army before withdrawing. Even though the Brits took the hill, it was a Pyhrric victory, and demonstrated decisively that the American colonists were a force to be reckoned with.
- 1944, The Battle of the Bulge. American forces were surprised by a German counterattack in the Ardennes, leaving the 101st Airborne and 10th Armored divisions surrounded by Nazi forces in Bastogne. The German commander offered to accept the Americans’ surrender within two hours, else the American forces were to be annihilated by artillery fire. General Anthony McAuliffe, commander of the 101st, famously replied ‘NUTS!’. We all know how that turned out.
GoDaddy must be kidding
As anyone with whois skills and too much time no doubt knows, I use GoDaddy for my domain registrar. I just got an email from them in the classic “for your convenience, we’re taking self-interested action” type corporate doublespeak:
Dear Acerbic Prick,
A member of our Customer Appreciation Group recently called to thank you for doing business with GoDaddy.com and to either advise you of an opportunity to save money on products you already have in your account, or because you have a product that is expiring soon. Unfortunately, the phone number we called appears to be incorrect. For you to receive required updates, alerts and expiration notices, we must have the correct contact information. You can update your phone number in one of the following ways:
- Call our Customer Appreciation Group at (480) 505-8879 and select option 1. A representative will be happy to assist you in updating your information.
- Online: Go to the GoDaddy.com home page, enter your log-in name (or customer number) and password, then click “Secure Login.” Then click “My Account,” which will take you to the Account Manager. Click on “Account Settings” to update your phone number(s).
We appreciate your business and will do our best to keep you satisfied. Our mission is to ensure you’re satisfied with your products and to take care of any service-related issues you may have with your account and/or products.
So, let me get this straight. One of your phone spambots tried to call me at home to sell me some shit. You found that the phone number you had on file for me is disconnected. You therefore have dispatched an email spambot to nag me about giving you an updated phone number so you can send your phone spambot after me again later to sell me some more shit? Who are you and how stupid must you be? Geez. Say what you will about register.com, but at least they never pulled shit like this!
It depends on what the meaning of 'free' is
The free/open source software community are an odd bunch of folks. As one might expect from a hoarde of highly intelligent borderline-autistic geek personalities, any movement involving more than two members can be accurately characterized as a ‘herd of cats’, and will almost certainly come complete with a mailing list, fanboys, one or more rival groups, and multiple ideological splinter factions.
Thus, upon reflection it really comes as no surprise that we can’t even agree on what ‘free’ means in the context of ‘free software’ and the licenses that govern its use.
Though the freedom debate resists attempts to simplify it into a dichotomy, the appallingly unfortunate gratis vs libre distinction gives outsiders a high-level insight into what’s at stake. Does ‘free’ mean “you don’t have to pay” (free as in beer, so to speak), or does ‘free’ mean “you are free to do what you want” (or as the zealots say, free as in speech)?
The canonical ‘free beer’ software license is BSD, while the definitive ‘free speech’ software license is the GPL. I’ll make clear right now that I prefer the BSD license, and I make no apology if you like the GPL license and your Asberger’s turns you into a ranting Stalinbot whenever you think about a corporation using your code in a commercial product. Not my problem.
In point of fact, the ‘free speech’ crowd are, imho, being disingenuous. To my mind, a license that leaves you free to use code however you see fit, up to and including in a commercial product, provided you don’t take credit for the work of another (that is to say, BSD), is more free as in speech than software that compels you to license your code under the same terms as the code you’re using (in other words, GPL).
In practice this effects me directly. By day I build commercial software in a large impersonal corporate office building where the neocon zionist corporate cabal meet to count their money and vivisect live kittens. Often I need a piece of software to do some simple software task like logging or compression or whatever. If I’m lucky enough to find some code under the BSD license, I can use it in my product with a nod to the author in the docs. If I’m not lucky, I’ll find exactly what I want, dangling from the Tree of GPL and thus untouchable. From where I’m standing, a license that lets me use software I want is more free than one that doesn’t.
The GPListas would argue that the ability to take free software and lock it away in not-free software isn’t freedom at all, it’s power. In other words, freedom is the ability to do things Richard Stallman approves of, and power is the ability to do the opposite. Sign me up for power, thank you very much.
For this reason among others, I try to use BSD-like software whenever I can. My router runs OpenBSD, my wifi cracking boxen run OpenBSD, my SSH server runs FreeBSD, etc. I just stood up the first non-virtual Linux machine on my network in years, and was immediately made to regret it, but I needed Azureus and for better or worse that means Linux.
If you ever find yourself among a bunch of self-righteous GPLers, particularly those with Atheros WiFi adapters on their Linux laptops using driver code expropriated from BSD, be sure to liken the GPL to communism, and let it be known that you see nothing wrong with corporations using free software in closed-source products. If you’re lucky, you’ll see at least one head actually explode, and in a fit of irony at least one of the group will call you a fascist. Bonus points if one or more participants are wearing Che Guevara memorabilia.
Getting Azureus 3.0 running on Ubuntu Feisty without resorting to blunt objects or automatic weapons fire
Now that I set up a 1TB Ubuntu box I needed to get Azureus 3.x running on it. It turns out this is vastly harder than it should be.
My initial attempt was what all the docs say to do: sudo apt-get install azureus. After all, this is Ubuntu, the distro that will replace Windows with a free, stable, usable OS built on the principles of freedom, openness, viral licenses, and communism. Sadly, if you go this route, you’ll learn first hand the fruits of a proletariat state, in the form of starvation, torture, and ultimately, execution by inexplicable compatibility problem.
As far as I can tell, there are a few problems with the azureus package:
- It’s based on Azureus 2.5, which is the version your great grandfather used to download silent films during the Civil war
- It installs Azureus as root (which is fine), but runs it as non-root (which is fine). This is all fine, until Azureus goes to update itself to the new Horseless Carriage version (see bullet above), when it discovers it’s running as an unprivileged user and thus lacks the privs to update its own binaries
- Last but certainly not least, somewhere in the Ubuntu package dependency chain there lives the guy whose job it is to decide which Java package the
azureuspackage depends on. Unfortunately for you, this guy is a Pinko agent, so he decides to use[gcj](http://gcc.gnu.org/java/), which is the GNU clean room version of Java, licensed under the GPL (of course). This is a great idea, since Sun’s fascist license is only free as in beer and the GPL is free as in love.Much like Marxist economics, this looks absolutely fantastic on paper. In another startling parallel to Marxism, this is catastrophic in practice. Maybe, years from now, GCJ will be just as good as Sun’s Java, and we can all use GPL’d code while we take our children to throw rotten fruit at the capitalists in the stocks in the village square. However, today it blows since Azureus and the major Azureus plugins like AzSMRC and SafePeer range from flaky to explosive when run under GCJ.
After some fruitless Googling I came to the conclusion I should just download Azureus from Sourceforge and install it myself. So, I installed the sun-java6-jre package to get a real man’s Java implemenation, I grabbed the Azureus tarball and extracted it to /opt/azureus/, then fired it up. Then, to what did my wondering eyes appear, but meaningless error messages about a missing libswt-gtk or whatever.
You see, it turns out the latest Azureus ships with a version of SWT that depends upon GTK 3.3, but Feisty installs 3.2. I had to copy the contents of /usr/lib/java and /usr/lib/jni and /usr/lib/ecplise/plugins to /opt/azureus to get Azureus to start. Then it downloaded the latest SWT update (apparently this is more recent than what’s in the tarball, for reasons I don’t understand), and once it had this updated swt.jar, it was no longer dependent upon the other crap I copied in, so I was able to delete it.
I also had to make sure my non-privileged user owned the /opt/azureus folder and its contents, so updates could run successfully.
Now, Azureus is running fine. If only I could find a Linux alternative to PeerGuardian 2 that doesn’t suck (SafePeer was written by a 12 year old and shows no sign of ongoing maintenance, and MoBlock is a lame static solution with no provision to updating its blocklists).
Ubuntu Feisty Fawn, HighPoint RocketRaid 2220, and Satan
A while back I contorted myself to get a 64-bit FreeBSD 6.0 driver for my HighPoint RocketRaid 2220 RAID controller. Now that I have a 2TB ReadyNAS box, that old 1TB FreeBSD box is falling into disuse, so I thought I’d repurpose it as a dedicated Azureus download machine.
At first, I had hoped I could install Ubuntu Feisty Fawn directly on the RAID array, but I couldn’t even get the Ubuntu live CD to boot without a litany of read errors on sdc and sdb. I gave up on that, pulled one of the five 250GB drives from the array, and hooked it up to the on-board SATA controller, unplugged the RocketRaid, and installed Ubuntu.
Once that was done, I wanted to at least get enough RocketRaid support to create a RAID 0 volume consisting of the four remaining 250GB SATA drives. Long story short, here’s what I had to do:
- Compile a custom 2.6.22 kernel, explicitly excluding the
sata_mvdriver, which is extremely incomatible with the RocketRaid. Addingsata_mvto the blacklist, and using thebrokenmoduleskernel startup parameter were not sufficient; I had to literally compile this out of the kernel. - Download the latest HighPoint RocketRaid Linux driver source code. It may be possible to get the pre-compiled drivers to work on Feisty, but if so I don’t know how.
- Build the RocketRaid driver code per the instructions. The
make installstep failed towards the end, but it made it far enough to get thehptmv6driver built and working and loading at boot time.
Once that was done, it was time to create the RAID array. As I learned when I built a BSD box around this card, the RocketRaid 2220 is what is known as a FakeRAID card, meaning it has no hardware RAID circuitry; it’s just a SATA controller with some proprietary, buggy code that emulates the various RAID levels. So, I decided against using the HighPoint RAID code, and went into the HighPoint BIOS and created one JBOD device for each disk in the array. These devices showed up at /dev/sdb through /dev/sde. I used the software RAID HOWTO to build a /dev/md0 device consisting of these four disk devices, in RAID 0.
Now, I have a 1TB RAID 0 reiserfs partition upon which to stage my ill-gotten gains, before archiving them on my 2TB dedicated NAS box.
Next time, I’ll spend the $300 and get a real, supported RAID controller card.
UPnP AV Support (Or Lack Thereof) in VLC Player
Lately I’ve been trying to find a better solution to my video watching system. Currently I have a 19″ LCD monitor in my bedroom, hooked up to a laptop on my WiFi LAN and running Windows XP. When I want to watch a video file I manually start it playing, then recline on my bed. This sucks for a few reasons:
- Requires manual playing of each video
- Doesn’t remember where in a series I left off
- Downloading additional video content is a multi-step process involving my dedicated torrent machine, my NAS box, and my video player box
- It’s not the slightest bit cool
My ReadyNAS NV+ NAS box supports UPnP AV, so I already have a MediaServer machine exposing my videos. I had heard somewhere that VLC Player supported UPnP streaming, so I looked into it.
First off, the pre-built binaries have no_ UPnP support. They have Zeroconf and some other technology I’ve never heard of. Second, you can supposedly enable UPnP support with the --enable-cyberlink config option when building from source, assuming you download the latest CyberLink for C++ package. Unfortunately, I could barely get VLC compiled without CyberLink (I had the same issue as there guys, and that French prick in the forums is no help at all), and I had absolutely _no luck building Cyberlink for C++ myself on Cygwin. From this thread I conclude the UPnP support is either totally broken or buggy.
Dammit. Are there any free/open source UPnP MediaRenderers out there?
Google 'genocide' while you still can
As all the Establishment nerds who read Slashdot already know, the EU Commissioner of Justice and Security recently suggested EU-wide censorship of searches for ‘dangerous words’ like ‘bomb, kill, genocide or terrorism’. No word yet on the legal status of searches for ‘tyranny’, ‘censorship’, or ‘authoritarian thug’.
The exact quote is:
I do intend to carry out a clear exploring exercise with the private sector … on how it is possible to use technology to prevent people from using or searching dangerous words like bomb, kill, genocide or terrorism
When asked if this infringed upon freedom of expression, the commissioner opined:
Frankly speaking, instructing people to make a bomb has nothing to do with the freedom of expression, or the freedom of informing people.
The right balance, in my view, is to give priority to the protection of absolute rights and, first of all, right to life.
Other interesting bits to the story:
Frattini said there would be no bar on opinion, analysis or historical information but operational instructions useful to terrorists should be blocked.
He said European legislation would spell out the principles of blocking access to bomb instructions. The details would be worked out by each EU country.
So, there you have it. If you can think of a way information or speech could hypothetically threaten someone’s life, the EU Commissioner of Justice and Security seems willing to ban it for you.
But maybe you’re not convinced. Maybe you too think bomb making instructions should not be available on the Internet. Samuel Adams and I are inclined to tell you to fuck off, but before you do, think about this: how would a ban on bomb making information be implemented? Would a legal framework be put into place to take down offending sites? Would possession of the information be banned as well? What about sites outside the EU? Would filtering software be installed at the EU’s net borders, along the lines of the Great Firewall of China? Would European customs agents search the hard drives of visitors for forbidden information the way Saudi Sharia police scan tourists’ laptops for porn? How long after this infrastructure is put in place will it be used to censor other speech, possibly including speech you agree with?
Whatever classically liberal European forces gave birth to the Enlightenment and modern secular Western civilization seem to have atrophied away, leaving meddlesome nanny-state authoritarians ascendant. You Europeans may have eliminated violence with gun control, sickness with socialized healthcare, and poverty with confiscatory taxes, but at least I can Google ‘bomb’ without the Thought Police stomping my rebel ass.
There's still time for me!
It’s usually safe to assume that whatever today’s xkcd cartoon is, it rocks. Today’s is especially good, and reflects the kind of math I and many of my kind might not always admit to doing:
Brilliant.
